it just feels like it. Almost as soon as I started bringing my blood sugar under control I started suffering uncomfortable symptoms, usually between lunch and evening meal. As the evening meal got closer, I would feel more and more uncomfortable, and checking various lists of symptoms they most closely matched hypoglycaemia (hypo) which was a bit worrying. However, I do test my blood (obviously) and it was never low enough to be classified as hypo nor low enough to be dangerous.

We surmised that my body basically wasn’t used to having ‘normal’ blood sugar or long periods between meals. It was also possibly even related to the idea of having food. For example, sometimes if I knew it was going to be a while before I ate (going to the cinema or shopping) the symptoms wouldn’t be anywhere near as bad until after that activity. It was almost as if my body was acting hypo to get my attention.

Anyway, I had a regular diabetic checkup a month or so back, blood sugar average still really good (I may have blogged it?), and I spoke to the nurse about a few things. She confirmed that in some people who’ve had high blood sugar untreated for a while, they can suffer feelings of hypoglycaemia while having normal blood sugar levels. At the time it was good to hear.

Doesn’t make me feel any better when I find I’m shaking while trying to cook something or I end up being dozy and not remembering things people have said to me. I’m going to try and increase the distance between my breakfast and my lunch, at the moment they’re far too close together through habit. That will in turn reduce the time between lunch and my evening meal hopefully reducing the feelings I get. We’ll see how that works out.

Since it’s been a few weeks since my checkup I’m also entering the ‘I’m not doing well’ stage where I decide I’m eating the wrong stuff and my blood sugar average is going to be terrible. Even though I do spot checks and my sugar is usually pretty well within the right range and what I’d expect I still start to doubt myself and second guess and worry. The annoying thing is that it doesn’t really change what I eat, or if it does it can have a negative effect (stuff it, I’m having some biscuits my average is already shot). But I guess I just have to recognise the problem and stay on top of it. Grete’s great as always.

I have moments where I look back and wonder how it’s not worse than it is. I can recall some days in 2004 where I might get to work, have a 500ml bottle of coke with breakfast, have another can of coke in the run up to lunch. Have some lunch, not actually too bad, but with some kind of sweetened drink either more coke or a non-fruit fruit juice. Perhaps share a couple of packets of chewy sweets with the rest of the team, or eat half a packet of wine gums during the afternoon. Of course that would be washed down with another can of coke. Those moments help me realise that staying on track isn’t actually going to be that hard. I don’t drink regular coke any more, I haven’t had a sugar-based sweet since I was diagnosed, and I avoid any fruit drinks other than actual bona fide fruit without anything added.

Which means the big culprits are bread and erm, bread mostly. I’ve virtually given up white bread, instead sticking to Tesco’s Finest Rustic Multi-grain, which is tasty and doesn’t usually appear to impact my sugar badly.

My two most deadly nemesisses (hah and it’s a real word) are Pizza and Bacon Sandwiches. I mean come on, you can’t have bacon sandwiches in multi-grain bread. It’s got to be white.

Considering it’s been 6 or 7 months since I last blogged anything, I can’t believe anyone is still reading this (in fact, I can’t believe anyone was ever reading this) so I wonder why I’m still writing it. I’m still Diabetic, I know it never goes away, but everyone has to have a dream. Had good news earlier in the year, my 3 month average blood sugar test was excellent. The bad news is that every day between 3 month checks just leaves me worrying about it and the further I get from the last check the more I worry.

Perhaps that’s good, if I stop worrying I guess I’ll stop trying to manage it, although I don’t think I’m any good at managing it anyway. I have good days and weeks and bad days and weeks. Working from home is bad, it ruins the routine, working from the office is good, the routine helps and I manage to get out every lunch for a 20 minute walk which can’t be hurting. Some days I think I’ve been good and it’s bad, some days I think I’ve been bad and it’s good, and some days I try not to think about how bad I’ve been.

I just wish I didn’t spend most of every day scared of the consequences of being diabetic, worried about every ‘symptom’ I currently have. But then it’s always been my nature to worry.

One of the reasons I’ve started blogging again is I finally migrated to Google’s new blogging feature and that includes labels, something I’d wanted to have on my review page for a while. I thought I’d bring the review site up-to-date and that led to blogging something here first.

House news, thanks to my amazing wife, we finally got someone to come and look at the ‘damp’ in the dining room. It’s not damp, and much to our embarassment, the guy pointed to a hole in the wall between the door frame and the brickwork. Every time it rained, water had been running in, and rotting the wood, floorboard, etc. So we filled the hole and we’re letting the woodwork dry out, and we’ll full that with woodfiller soon. We’ve finally made a move on the front door as well, double glazing folk have been, we’ve had the phone wire moved, and they’re coming to replace the door next week. Hopefully it’ll look ok, I have no faith in double glazing companies, but fingers crossed it’ll be good enough.

Here’s the bit where I make a vague promise (but I’m not sure who to?) to update this more often.