I Tanked a Troll

Lord of the Rings Online inspired filk.  With apologies to Katy Perry, Lukasz Gottwald and Max Martin.  Sung to the tune of, I Kissed a Girl.

This was not the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, sword in hand
Lost my discretion
It’s not what, I’m used to
Just wanna take it on
I’m working to complete a deed
It caught my attention

I tanked a troll and I liked it
Killed it with my 3rd age pointy-stick
I tanked a troll just to try it
I hope my kin-mates don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m a tank tonight
I tanked a troll and I killed it
I killed it

No, I don’t even know it’s name
It doesn’t matter
It was my experimental game
Just minstrel nature
It’s not what, good hobbits do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I tanked a troll and I liked it
Killed it with my 3rd age pointy-stick
I tanked a troll just to try it
I hope my kin-mates don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m a tank tonight
I tanked a troll and I killed it
I killed it

Those trolls they are so magical
Hard skin, big warts, so squeezable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain’t no big deal, it’s innocent

I tanked a troll and I liked it
Killed it with my 3rd age pointy-stick
I tanked a troll just to try it
I hope my kin-mates don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m a tank tonight
I tanked a troll and I killed it
I killed it

Books!

Have read both The Naming of the Beasts (Mike Carey) and The Ghost Brigades (John Scalzi) recently (as in, over the last couple of days).  Both very different books, but both excellent.  The Carey book is, well, hard to put into a box. Maybe urban fantasy, maybe urban private detective fantasy, maybe just urban, whatever it is it’s the fifth in the Felix Castor series and well worth reading.  The books can be a little bleak at times because the subject matter is a little bleak, but the payout is worth it.  The Scalzi book is clearly sci-fi with a solid emotional backing, and is the second in the series (although not a direct sequel).  It’s engaging, and packed a bigger emotional punch than the Carey book for me but that’s because it tugged at all the tight emotional triggers.  I’ve reviewed them both over on Grete’s BookThing website (the links above take you there).