With the escape of a pirate versoin of Origins:Wolverine, movie piracy is in the news again (is it ever not?). As it happens I was chatting to Grete about this after a small piece on Film 2009 earlier today, and then I read this article on the Empire website which sums up my view completely, especially how the movie industry arrives at the numbers they use and the ads you can’t skip.
Category Archives: Movie
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
You don’t have to have watched any porn to enjoy Zack and Miri, but it certainly helps. If you needed evidence that Kevin Smith can make just about anything in life both funny and heart-warming at the same time, then this movie is it. Zack and Miri are best friends and have been since school. They share an appartment because neither of them can afford it on their own, and they complement each other. It’s clear to everyone viewing that they should be in love, married and enjoying life together but because they’ve been friends for so long, they don’t see anything other than that when they look at each other.
A trip to a high school re-union where Zack meets a male porn star, a few missed bills and having their power and water cut off force Zack and Miri to a rather weird solution to raise cash – they should film a porno and distribute it to their ex-high school companions. They gather a few friends and employ a few more colourful individuals and set about making their movie. Needless to say, it doesn’t go to plan, but eventually they get under way and the moment arrives where Zack and Miri have to do it. I’ll leave the content there, you’ll have to watch and find out what happens.
If you’d seen any Kevin Smith films and then saw Zack and Miri without knowing Kevin wrote it, you’d probably be able to spot it anyway. His trademark dialog is strewn throughout although it’s slightly more refined than it was in say, Clerks II. This is probably because it’s not two guys mouthing off to each other for a change, however it doesn’t detract from the humour in that dialog and there’s plenty to laugh about. The situations are funny without being too twee, all the characters are amusing if a little flat and the story isn’t quite as straightforward as I’d expected. There’s one laugh-out-loud and cry-for-days moment which made us both laugh so hard it hurt, and plenty of good relaxed funny moments. While the ending certainly won’t come as a surprise, the journey is worthwhile and interesting.
Zack and Miri do indeed make a porno, and learn an awful lot about themselves, each other and the business in the process.
Bulletproof Monk
I bought this movie an age ago, and then I read a review saying it was pure tripe. So it sat on the shelf for a long old while in the ‘to watch’ section. However, the universe works in karmic ways and while a friend was visiting, we asked her what she wanted to watch and she picked this. It turned out to be a pleasant surprise. It’s a pretty straight forward buddy movie, an Asian monk protecting an ancient scroll, a young American martial arts movie loving kid and the love interest. The monk takes the kid under his wing (even if the kid doesn’t know it), prophecies are fulfilled and the world is saved.
There are some above-average action sequences, some sassy dialog, some tin-pot wisdom and a couple of scenes which make you glad you watched. There are some frustrations as well, the villain introduces some over complex technology near the end to explain away one minor plot issue that could have been countered in more simple and pleasing ways and bits of the final battle leave a sour taste in the mouth for their paint-by-numbers feel. Overall though it satisfies the comedy action glands and presses some of the right buttons. Certainly no more than 5/10 but it’s a solid 5.
Hancock
I saw Hancock listed recently, in a collection of Superhero Spoof movies. Let’s get this straight from the start, this is not a spoof. This is a superhero movie and if you go in expecting a spoof you’ll be disappointed. Yes, it’s a comedic superhero movie, but the comedy is an inherent part of the action and the story, this is a superhero movie with heart, depth and an excellent twist.
I was in fact, totally surprised at how much I enjoyed this, certainly, the most surprising movie experience in quite a while. I was expecting a steady Will Smith comedy vehicle but Hancock is much more than that. Our hero (Hancock) is a drunk, asshole superhero who saves people from crime and causes more damage in the process than the criminals ever would. His reputation stinks, most people hate him and the city has hundreds of warrants out for his arrest, which he ignores. It’s clear who really needs saving in this town, and when Hancock saves the life of a publicity specialist the resulting relationship nearly kills them all.
I won’t tell you anything else about the story because the real enjoyment of this story comes from the twists and to give them away would destroy half the film. Suffice to say the performances are great, I really thought Will gave a great performance, big when it needed to be big and understated when it needed that. Charlize Theron is a little hit and miss, but when she hits the character it’s really great. There’s one really emotional scene, but it’s quietly sad and Charlize pulls a blinder. I loved the humour, the subtle touches and the excellent action sequences. Hancock really is a fully rounded and enjoyable movie.
Taken
Liam Neeson isn’t the first person that springs to mind when talking about action movies but he’s a great actor with plenty of on screen presence and I was hopeful that Taken would deliver. The film starts out pretty well, we learn about Neeson (ex-government agent of some kind) and his relationship with his ex-wife and 17 year old daughter. Neeson is clearly paranoid and his ex-wife is maybe less protective of her daughter than she should be, so neither of them are perfect. His daughter is planning a trip to Paris with her slightly older friend, they tell Neeson they’re staying in one place but the reality is they’re following a band on tour. He finds out, but she still goes.
Once in France however, it’s clear her friend has slightly less concern about their safety than maybe she should and within moments they’re both kidnapped. There’s no real spoiler here, the whole premise of the movie is that Neesom’s character has to locate his daughter, everything up to this point has really been about setting your expectations of him as a father and an action hero.
The pace quickens immediately from this point onwards, with Neeson telling his daughter’s captors that he has ‘certain skills’ and that he will find them. You get the impression that these skills will be stealthy, investigative, assassin-like . It turns out he’s just good at killing people with guns and running around. The first big let down of the film is that Neeson isn’t that believable, not because of his acting but because the character isn’t that well written. He’s too blundering, too reliant on luck, too emotional. Yes, he’s trying to save his daughter but he’s a man of steel and iron and if he can’t control his anger at the critical moment then what kind of government agent was he? The second let down is that there’s no twist. None. The movie starts at A, moves through the alphabet and arrives and Z.
All that out of the way – it’s a half decent action thriller. The scenes are well played, there’s a small amount of tension as Neeson gets closer and closer to the men who have his daughter, and there’s a couple of moments where we see what might have been with a better written hero. Maybe Bourne spoiled us all but in his shadow Bryan Mills (Neeson’s character) just looks like a thug.
I would have liked to see more skulduggery, and more involvement from his former team members (they get a small intro at the start). Taken is a simple movie without complexity or concern for detail, it’ll probably entertain you for 93 minutes but you may soon wonder what you just did and where those 93 minutes went.
Body of Lies
The advertising for Body of Lies says something like “Packed with breath taking action sequences” which is essentially a lie. This isn’t an action flick and trying to sell it as such does it an injustice. Either the studio were nervous, stupid or perhaps they don’t think much of the cinema going public. Whatever the reason, Body of Lies is actually a dramatic thriller espionage action movie with some action sequences (impressive) and lots of dialog. I really enjoyed DiCaprio and while I disliked Crow’s character immensely it’s probably because of his acting prowess that he made the man so odious with so little screen time.
The story covers a US CIA agent (DiCaprio) based in the Middle East, trying to get closer to a terrorist leader who is currently coordinating attacks on mainland Europe. DiCaprio and his superior (Crow) differ in how they want to deliver results, with DiCaprio clearly more sympathetic to Arabic and Muslim sensibility. They clash several times and as we proceed to the movie’s climax we see how much both of them are prepared to sacrifice for what they believe in.
I found the dialog absorbing and the roles well played. I can’t comment on whether the movie is an accurate portrayal of the conflict going on in the Middle East or America’s involvement in it, maybe Ridley Scott has spent years researching it, maybe it’s just a pastiche or an impression but it certainly raised some interesting ideas. The action sequences were well done, realistic and gritty and the scenes in the final act were suitably traumatic (I won’t spoil it too much for you).
Ultimately however the ending felt too loose, too open perhaps. Maybe because Crow doesn’t seem to suffer any consequences for his actions, maybe for other reasons. In any case it was like the last rocket of your fireworks evening misfiring, it didn’t spoil what came before but it left me feeling like we’d missed out on something important at the end.
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Simon Pegg is a funny man. He’s a comic. He conveys humour with his face, his stance, his voice, his very presence and it’s a good job because without him, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People would have been a very average movie. With him, it’s on the better than average side of funny. Pegg plays an entertainment journalist given the chance to move to America and join a world famous magazine, there he meets the stars, forges a career, screws plenty of things up and falls in love. It’s a straight by the book romantic comedy with a few decently amusing scenes that Pegg carries pretty much throughout.
I didn’t find Kirsten very comfortable in her role at all, and the rest of the cast has hardly enough screen time to make any kind of impression.
No where near the quality of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz or even Run Fatboy, Run, but still worth a giggle.
Babylon A.D.
If your audience is expecting a post-apocalyptic sci-fi action movie in which your beefcake hero runs around and shoots a bunch of bad guys, while protecting a mysterious young girl then really, it should be quite hard to screw it up. Make it exciting, give it some funky dialog and some charismatic characters, give them something to deal with together to form some bonds, and reveal the back story as you go illuminated through the lights of tracer rounds and frag grenades.
I admit it’s not easy or we’d all be doing it, but there are some advantages to bringing a sci-fi action movie to the screen in terms of plot development and character depth. Get it anyway half decent and the crowds will be happy.
Which makes it all the harder to excuse Babylon A.D. and to understand what the hell they thought they were doing. Oh it starts out on a firm footing, Diesel still has enough on-screen presence and acerbic charm to pick up the role (essentially Riddick without the mirrored eyes) and he can cook! We get a little back story, we get some evidence he’s bad ass, and we get to meet the other two of the trio as he collects them (in quite an amusing manner) from their little convent. There’s something weird about the girl, and there are some people trying to capture her. Perfect, now we just need a good solid set of action combat / chase sequences and a small twist near the end and we’re golden.
Maybe the girl’s female protector turns out to be a bad guy, maybe Diesel’s character turns out to be a double agent, maybe the whole world turns into tofu, just something little and twisty after all the action to make us look back and go ‘oh yes, I see now’. That’s what a twist should be, not something out of the blue but something which makes you re-evaluate what you saw and assumed. Just to remind you to pay more attention next time. It shouldn’t be obvious before-hand, but it should be totally obvious with hindsight. That’s the point right? To suck us in and then whack us when we’re not looking?
Why then, why in the name of all the Norse gods, does Bablyon A.D. take a 345 degree turn 15 minutes before the end and tell a completely different story about which we had no warning. No hidden messages. Yes, the girl was weird, maybe psychic, maybe telepathic, perhaps just odd. But if you have to tell us what happened before the movie started, with 8 minutes of monologue from a character we’ve only just met, so that you can then justify the last 11 minutes of the movie, you’re doing it wrong.
Come on! Basically, Bablyon A.D. is two movies, everything you see up to the 15 minutes before the end, and then everything after that. We listen to some exposition which explains why the girl is weird, who the bad guy is, what is really going on, and then we get a limp-wristed end sequence. Really, I’ve not been left hanging by a movie as badly as this before and I’ve watched some crud. It’s a true shame because it feels like Bablyon A.D. reached for something and failed and instead of that being recognised and aspirations toned down, they just hacked it together any way they could to deliver the story they’d tried and failed to shoot. I’d rate the first three quarters as a passable and watchable action sci-fi movie and the last 15 minutes or so as pure shite.
Avoid.
Kung Fu Panda
A lowly noodle chef dreams of being a mighty Kung Fu champion, turns up during the selection of the Dragon Warrior and ends up joining the Five Kung Fu heroes he has idolised for his entire life. It’s a common enough story (down and out turns good and saves the world) and it needs a strong cast and some solid writing to really give it any life these days. Kung Fu Panda comes close to nailing it but falls short at the final bout. Everything is flawless, the animation, the voice acting, the humour is excellent, the story is interesting enough.
But there’s something missing. Some heart, some soul and a huge act from the second half. Where is the scene with Panda and the Five taking on the enemy together? Where is the scene of them training together and finally coming to accept each other? Where is the team work? Instead we are left with the Five setting out on their own to defeat the enemy and Panda training in their absence, becoming the Dragon Warrior while they are away.
It feels like something was left out. Which is a true shame. I really enjoyed watching it, I laughed, and it was suitably touching, but it was too short, and subsequently too hollow to be a classic.
The Mutant Chronicles
Mutant Chronicles has Ron Perlman in it, so it has to be good right? Actually it’s got Thomas Jane, Sean Pertwee, John Malkovich and Steve Toussaint, as well as Ron Perlman. All I knew before renting this on DVD was that I’d seen one trailer which looked half decent, it has Ron Perlman in it and it’s called Mutant Chronicles, it was enough for me! The film tells the story of a future earth, where four corporations who run the place war constantly for possession of the remaining resources. It’s got a steampunk edge, and the start shows us the ongoing war, heavy on the World War I trench warfare imagery. We get a brief introduction to a few characters and a voice over from Ron. Eons ago a machine was sent to earth, with the sole purpose of subverting humans and turning them into killer mutants. Inevitably, the war breaks the seal behind which the machine was locked by an order of priests (Ron being the head guy now), and all hell breaks loose in an already hell-ravaged world. The corporations evacuate to Mars and Ron is left looking for a bunch of soldiers to help him shut down the machine and save those people left behind. He finally puts his band of heroes together, from all corners of the world, and they head out to save what’s left of earth.
Visually the movie is great, it looks to me like it’s shot using the same technology as Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, but the shots are put together better and the technology isn’t so apparent. The steampunk look and feel works really well and the opening moments in the trenches are suitably depressing and set the scene well. The story arc is predictable, but the actors manage to keep us interested and there are a few interesting moments in the dialog. The action scenes are ok, although some of the actors look a little uncomfortable it has to be said. Anna Walton looked both great and terrible in equal measure which is a real shame, since her character had a chance at having the most depth. Overall the writing doesn’t give any of the characters much depth, and it certainly betrays the roleplaying game background material. Despite that, the movie was entertaining enough, and managed to avoid being entirely cheesy.
What I think really let it down overall was the pacing and editing. The introduction was just too long and didn’t offer any character depth, the middle section in which the band of heroes is put together and descend into the catacombs is just too short, some of the heroes die within the first moments of setting out, with barely a line of dialog. The end is ok, but feels bloated compared to the introduction. There are odd threads which feel like they’re part of a greater movie but don’t really fit in. Near the end we see Jane ‘saving’ Pertwee’s character, who is taken captive at the start of the film. But where has he been? The section where he saves him is either wasted space, or an excuse to keep Jane alive during an encounter which sees many of the heroes die. Pertwee brings his character to life more than anyone else in the movie and it was a shame to see him used to little throughout.
Generally Mutant Chronicles is ok, but could have been much better. I wonder if the best movie is on the cutting room floor or still on the storyboards, and maybe a more confident director would have delivered a more cohesive action adventure.