Category Archives: Review

Pineapple Express (Extended, Blu-Ray)

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I really had to make myself sit through the first half of Pineapple Express.  While in theory the material is just the kind of comedy I should find amusing the pace was very slow and perhaps I would have been better off watching the theatrical release?  The characters were a little interesting, and the initial plot seemed sound, but I just didn’t find it hilarious or outrageously funny.  I smirked a few times early on, but the first real out loud laugh moment didn’t arrive until the police car chase scene when Saul sticks his foot through the windscreen (must be around half way, felt like three hours in).  The movie did actually pick up after that point, the pace improved and we finally started making some progress.  I was engaged finally, and after almost getting up and wandering off earlier on, I found myself interested enough to stay until the end (which was decent).

The movie revolves around a dope-smoking loser who witnesses a murder, and the ‘hilarious’ escapade which ensues while he tries to set things right with his drug dealer, girlfriend and various other people.  If you’re going to rely on a plot like that you really have to make the characters, situations and dialog funny and it just wasn’t that funny.  I have to wonder if Seth, Evan and Judd write this stuff while they’re totally stoned, find themselves laughing outrageously and decide to film it.  Perhaps it is much funnier to watch it stoned or drunk.

I’ve no idea how it scores 7.4 on IMDB unless all 46 thousand voters were stoned or drunk though.

A weak movie with some amusing moments and one or two cracking lines, but nothing to write home about.

Burn After Reading (Blu-Ray)

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I tend to watch a lot of action movies, sue me.  It’s always a surprise to me when I watch something else and enjoy it, and Burn After Reading is very enjoyable indeed.  Watching it straight after Death Race adds some amusement factor as well because Burn After Reading is full of acting and plot and a lot of talking (it’s a Cohen movie, after all).  All the folks were great, Clooney, Pitt, Malkovich, Swinton, McDormand, everyone.  The movie tells (kind of) the story (a little bit) of a bunch of folk who (eventually) interact in a bizarre (mostly) blackmail scheme.  Maybe.  The dialogue is excellent, the characters are engaging and amusing, and although I wasn’t sure which of them I should be empathising with the most, I enjoyed them all on one level or another.  It goes without saying it’s a black comedy, some of the comedy is side splitting, while a lot of it is far more subtle.  It turns out that everyone’s screwing everyone else either literally or figuratively, and the CIA is watching.  Everyone.  Always.

Burn After Reading is a funny, black, engaging comic story which doesn’t try to say anything, and succeeds.  If it teaches us anything it’s that we shouldn’t do it again – whatever it is we did.  There are some very amusing OMGWTF moments as well.  I recommend it.

Death Race (Blu-Ray)

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What did you expect? I didn’t watch this expecting to see a re-make of the original, I just watched it expecting to see fast cars, crashes, explosions and cliche! I wasn’t let down. How many times can you review a movie and say ‘the dialog / acting won’t win any awards but it’s entertaining’ and still sound credible? Probably fewer times than I have. This is a movie that makes no excuses, no apologies and carries no pretence. It’s nearly a remake of Running Man, but with cars, and it’s a damn sight better than Running Man as well. Jason puts in his usual performance and I actually liked him in this more than Transporter, he actually seems to have slightly more depth in Death Race. The supporting cast provide support, the action sequences are impressive and there are enough amusing moments to keep you smiling.

[voice over voice on] Death Race is the story of a man wrongly imprisoned for a terrible crime he didn’t comit, fighting for his survival and freedom, to rebuild his family, his honour and his life [voice over voice off]

There’s a small amount of plot, but the movie moves on quickly and doesn’t dwell on it too much, I actually preferred that.  I didn’t need a 20 minute back story, then 30 minutes of Eye of the Tiger style training for a 30 minute finale.  Instead what we get is about 8 minutes of setup and then 82 minutes of fast driving and big explosions.

Grete loved it.  I loved it.  The cats hated it.

Hitman

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At best this is an average assassin action movie, at worst it’s derivative tripe, but it manages to hold its head above water just enough to entertain for 90 minutes.

Hitman

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I haven’t played the game on which this movie is based (Hitman!) but I have heard horror stories about how amoral it is and hence bad for society.  The game, I’m led to believe, covers the actions of Agent 47 (the hitman in question) born into the role and carrying out hits for cash.  The movie of the same name is an action film which adds some plot and dilema.  It is, as most movies about assassins turn out to be, a story of assassins finally realising what they’re doing isn’t really actually nice, but feeling their only recourse is to kill their way out of the problem and in that respect doesn’t bring anything new to the genre.  However there’s still scope within that basic premise to deliver something interesting or entertaining.  How many times have we watched the same spy story (spy is abandoned by his agency when they think he’s gone bad and fights to prove himself to be innocent) or the same cop buddy story?

Our hero takes on a job and is subsequently set up, the rest of the film covers his actions to exact revenge, understand what happened, and rescue the girl (there’s always a girl).  Playing foil to the assassin is an InterPol inspector who’s been tracking him for three years.  The short interplay between these two characters does add some depth, and while the female involvement is predictable and insulting (oh no, another woman needs saving from an abusive and sadistic world leader) it provides the only shallow-comic moments in the entire film.

The action sequences are pretty staid, and acting is pretty hollow, although how much range do you need to play a deadly assassin?  The camera work and scenery is pretty nice though.  What saves the movie from being a total dud is that it’s actually quite interesting.  I wanted to see where it went, mostly because of how the movie opens (I won’t spoil it), and that kept me going until the end, and while I saw the little twist coming it still made me grin.

There are some interesting edits, and I’m assuming quite a bit of footage ended up on the floor, we move quickly from one a scene at one point to a meeting with a CIA agent which doesn’t seem to have any back story at all, but when you’re expecting something to be terrible, it’s easier to be forgiving about stuff like that.

Hitman is a passable action movie, and while it’s essentially derivative tripe, it’s derivative tripe which entertains and keeps you amused for 90 minutes.  It scores just over 6 on IMDB, and I’d probably rate it around 5, not terrible, not good, just ok.

There is one thing I have to rant about though.  Have you seen the game or the trailers for the movie?  The hitmen belong to a secret organisation, totally clandestine.  So they ensure their hitmen blend in, by making them all totally bald and tattooing barcodes on the back of their heads about a fucking inch high.  Our assassin is a ghost, blending in everywhere, except everywhere he goes he stands out like a thug in a china store because he’s bald and has a bar code tattooed into his head.  Come on!  I can suspend disbelief but when no one raises an eyebrow, and when no one knows what any of these assassins looks like, I just had to pretend it was a dream.

Otherwise – worth watching for fans of the game and people who like action movies for what they are.