Planet of the Apes

Hmm, overall, dissapointing is how I would describe this version of the ‘classic’ Planet of the Apes. Just to make it clear, I’ve not seen the original movie properly, nor have I read the book so I didn’t really have any pre-conceptions.

The story plodded along, and felt very linear, there weren’t any real surprises along the way, and I can’t even claim this was because I knew roughly what happened in advance. It was because Tim didn’t put any effort in to hiding or disguising what was going on. That may have been his personal choice of course. The acting was passable, the makeup was rather impressive, I really couldn’t tell what was CGI (was there any?) and what was live-action. But the plodding linear story, oh dear. It had no pace, no feeling of excitement, no feeling of any real danger. There elements which could have really been expanded or investigated further. Perhaps there wasn’t time.

The ending has caused plenty of debate, and I didn’t feel that it worked as well as Tim might have hoped. It makes me wonder about what happened, how things got like that, but it’s a frustrated wondering rather than an interested analytical wondering.

If you get the chance, see it on the big screen if you’ve nothing better to do that evening, because it looks impressive, but don’t go out of your way to do so.

Tomb Raider

Well, well, well. A mixed bag. No, not Lara, she’s nice.

Want a one line summary? Tomb Raider is an excellent action movie spoiled by long periods of exposition and emotionless dialog.

The director is obviously excellent when it comes to action sequences. The four main sequences are all superb, with the 2nd and 3rd sequences being some of the most exciting action I’ve seen in a film for a while. Not in the same style as The Matrix, Crouching Tiger, or Charlie’s Angels, but more the Die Hard style of action. It’s good. Angelina rocks 🙂

The pace during those action scenes is excellent, the initial pace of the movie is good, but it just dies to a slow crawl after the third action sequence, for far too long. Then, when the last action sequence comes along, it’s not quite enough to lift it back up again.

The story is ok, if you liked the game, you’ll appreciate it, but it’s not terribly impressive, and the threat never felt very real, which meant the point of the thing never felt very right.

Sure, Lara kicks ass, but you have to ask yourself why.

Don’t get me wrong, I was entertained, but I just lost my suspension of disbelief during the dialog, it dragged on too long. More action, less chat would have worked better I think.

I’m glad I went and saw this on the big screen, if you get the chance, go, but don’t expect something quite as good as The Mummy or Mission Impossible. It is however, on a par with The Mummy Returns [which also suffered a little from long exposition] and much better than Mission Impossible II.

I will be buying the DVD.

Oh, and a nice bonus – Lord of the Rings trailer on before the movie – most excellent

Shrek

Go and see it.

Do not pass go, do not collect your £200, just go and see the movie.

Forget the fact that it’s a kids movie, forget the fact that it’s got astoundingly good computer animation, just enjoy the humour, I haven’t laughed this much in the cinema for a long time.

In a topsy-turvy fantasy faerie world, our out-of-the-ordinary hero, Shrek, rescues an out-of-the-ordinary princess, with the aid of a talking donkey.

Excellent lines, excellent scenes, excellent mickey taking [Disney, Matrix, River Dance, Blues Brothers, the list goes on ….] and just thoroughly entertaining.

Truly something for all the family.

Once you have seen it, come back, and read this phrase again, “the toad!”, and you’ll be chuckling for hours.

Dungeons and Dragons

I think the only quote I can sum up to reflect my opinion is, “no redeeming features what-so-ever”.

I have a longer opinion, but it boils down to the above.

Oh, and the editing crew needs shooting.

Charlie’s Angels

So, been back in for an hour or so [written on Saturday 2/11/2000], after seeing Charlie’s Angels in the cinema.

Fantastic! Totally fantastic.

I was really disappointed with Mission Impossible II, I loved the first one, it had everything, charisma, some plot, on-the-edge-of-your-seat moments, and some excellent script moments. MI2 however, had none of this. Oh it had some action, and a bit of plot, and some odd lines, but there was no charisma, no imagery with which to lose myself in.

I fell in love with the Matrix. Just amazing, brave camera work, astoundingly brave imagery and directing, charisma oozing from every moment.

And now, I’m in love with Charlie’s Angels.

It’s a comedy action movie, and it doesn’t take itself seriously. It manages to pay homage to a number of movies which I also adore, True Lies, Matrix, Mission Impossible, and several others I can’t remember now. The camera work is beautiful, the hong-kong wire work is amazing, the fight scenes are entertaining and gorgeous, the script was funny, the parody was subtle and amusing, unlike the recent ‘lampoon’ style movies.

And most of all – it had charisma.

Chutzpa.

Balls.

There’s a scene which is replayed again, in slow motion, to show how one of the Angel’s avoids a bullet. They don’t just play the scene twice, they rewind the movie and play it back in slow motion from new angles. Not as clunky as writing it sounds. But very brave. To know that you already have your audience hooked and that you can stop the action, prove that this isn’t real life and play it back is a brave move in the action movie world.

Some of the photography and scene layout was reminiscent of anime, another brave use of the camera for the action movie genre. Sure, we’ve had this stuff in the past, in art movies, in more serious movies, but never in a movie with this much pace. Matrix set the standard, and this movie picks up it, pokes fun at it, and then buffs the edges.

Some movies make you feel good, there’s just no way to hide from it. There’s not much plot in this movie, no more than the TV series, but who cares, the girls obviously had fun making it, that much shows through, the action is excellent, and the entertainment is none stop.

We aren’t subjected to the 45 minute introduction we got in X-Men, and I wasn’t bombarded with hype.

Gladiator made me feel good, and had charisma, and even though the hero doesn’t make it, the movie makes you feel good because good won out, over evil[tm], and our hero never backed down, never gave an inch, never stooped to the depths of the enemy.

But it also makes you think, and makes you wonder, and makes you feel.

Not Angels. No thinking required, switch off the IQ, open the eyes, widen the ears, pop two adrenalin pills, ensure your emotion detector is set to happy, insert tongue between teeth and head out on a rip roaring ride of wonder and fun.

Please sir, can I have some more?