I have what I think are creative urges every now and then. Sometimes they last a few days, sometimes longer, sometimes less. I can’t really explain why I feel like I have to create something, I can’t explain the feeling in my head that makes me feel like I have to make, produce or create. Over the years I finally came to realise what the feeling meant. When I was younger I would write roleplaying adventures for whatever game I was playing or reading at the time, or if I was running or playing a game at the time I’d express the urge during the game or while running it. Haven’t done any paper roleplaying for long time though so haven’t had a chance to write anything.
I used to paint miniatures as well, which was another way of expressing the need. Not particularly well I might add, but still, it worked. I also spent a lot of time writing little bits of random code in random languages to do random things. Writing code for me has always been more art than science and satisified my creative urges.
I guess the urge manifests itself now in the creation of random new websites (www.bookthing.co.uk, www.onelinemoviesreviews.co.uk), reviews, blog posts, forum/usenet posts and the like.
The main problem I have with the feeling is that I want to be creative, I want to create something, but I’m not always really sure where to direct the energy. Sometimes I think I want to ‘write’ (fiction) but I’m either too lazy or too scared to do it. Sometimes I think I’ll just write pithy and insightful blog posts but that doesn’t always suffice (and I usually fail). I envy people who can sing or play musical instruments, I’d love to be able to make movies or short videos of any kind of quality but have no clue really what I’d make them about (and certainly don’t want to be just another ‘ranter’ on YouTube).
I don’t know how common this sensation it, feeling like you want to create or write or do something but not really having much idea what it is you actually want to achieve, or maybe, feeling like the things you would like to create you don’t have enough skill to do them justice.