Argh, hard day at work yesterday, didn’t finish until 7:30pm, got paged at 9:00pm. Had some issues to fix during the day, and as usual, a number of concerns about the stuff we’re putting in, ah well. Today wasn’t much better, arrived early to discover two of the systems missing from the network, then had to convince the network guys that it was their issue, not mine, and that the servers were fine honestly, which is always a battle. Finally sorted at 11. Then had another high-strung debate with project members over direction and standards. Luckily, one of the team had organised a pizza-hut lunch, which helped. Then spent the afternoon breaking stuff and restoring it.

I think my new year resolution will be to keep my gob shut, keep my ideas to myself, and just do what other people tell me, without thinking, since it’s obviously the thinking that causes me to go head-to-head with other people and cause too much stress.

I need a t-shirt which says ‘Whatever it is, yes, fine by me’ on the front and on the back, ‘Because I don’t need the stress of explaining to you for the 1000th time why your solution sucks, and why there are other options you should consider instead, so that we get a solution which works for everyone’.

Perhaps all my ideas are crap, perhaps all my solutions and suggestions are flawed, perhaps my experience counts for nothing because it isn’t good enough, perhaps I can’t frame an argument in the right way to help others understand its value, but frankly, right now, I don’t care. I’m keeping quiet. The company encourages ‘thinking outside of the box’ and ‘innovation’ on one hand, and then demands conformity and playing by the rules on the other. I can’t juggle that anymore.

The fundamental truth of being employed seems to be that dumb lazy people are happy.