What I don’t understand is how I can have buried my head in the sand for so long over the house. What the hell was I thinking? Is it really any surprise that I’m feeling so stressed now over the whole thing?

I have this image of a snow plough, built with a large flat plate on the front, happily driving forwards through the snow, not caring that it’s all just building up in front of the plough and not actually being moved aside. Eventually, it’s going to be an issue.

We’re struggling with money, we’re both suffering one form of depression or another, we just need to get it sorted.

I know I have to go to the house tomorrow, to collect the mail, but I also know that it’s going to lead to spending more money, where from? Where am I going to get that money? Why didn’t I sort this out earlier, when it might not have been so bad. I know that doesn’t help, what if’s don’t help especially when they are negative.

Just concentrate on moving forwards, sort out whatever bits can be sorted out, don’t worry about anything else because there’s nothing I can do other than try my best.

Easy to say, not easy to do.

I know I can do it, I used to do it all the time, just do what needed to be done, just get sorted what needed to be sorted. But I’ve always been lazy, letting other people sort stuff for me, houses at Uni and again afterwards. Even arranging my own mortgage was almost surreal.

Time to forget that, time to just sort things out. Whatever it takes.