I have decided, unilaterally, that thin people should thank me. I’m fat, mostly because I don’t exercise enough and have a sedate lifestyle, and I eat food which is too rich in calories. However, I have decided that in keeping with a Yin Yang approach to the world’s population, there is an overall balance generated by people who are thin and those who are fat. Yin and Yang describe the polar effects of phenomenon (thin vs fat people), but also share a duality that form the entire state (i.e. the weight of every living person).

There are two possible Yin Yang options.

1. Thin people are thin because I am fat. In which case, those thin people should thank me for being Yin Fat and allowing them to be Yang Thin.
2. I am fat because thin people are thin. In which case thin people should thank me for not complaining about this and just accepting that I’m the Yin Fat to their Yang Thin.

Either way, I’m doing the thin people of this world a service, and I think maybe just once in a while they should be good enough to admit it.